Stress can wrap around our lives, and squeeze the joy out, before we know it … unless we tame it first.

To start your day off right, here’s a simple 10-step check list for taming stress.

1 – Decide YOU are in control. Stress is multiplied when we let others run our show. More often than not we get angry when we give into the direction or mastery of someone else or a situation and allow them to dictate who we are and our response. Decide this morning – no one can take away your power to control your mind … just do it.

2 – Love yourself first, so you can love others … when we have issues with ourself it spills over onto others – whether it’s yuckiness, unhappiness, or unforgiveness it can end up creating toxic situations throughout our day. So, get up in the morning, give yourself credit for being wonderful, grab ahold of some contentment, forgive yourself of what you did or didn’t do yesterday, and make up your mind that TODAY is the first day of the rest of your life and you’re going to love IT – your life.

A – Both 1 and 2 are in essence done with a quiet time of meditation and prayer. Take care of yourself first. Prayer in the morning and the plea for forgiveness, guidance and direction is indispensable to a stress-free day.

3 – Get your “I love yous” and “Bless yous” taken care of. You have to admit the day will just get more and more burdened with stress if we leave our loved ones feeling like they have done something awful. If our spouse leaves us in the morning in anger, or our kids get on the bus or out of the car feeling like they let us down then we should feel terrible. Our inner circle must feel blessed by us for before the rest of our day is of any significance. Our education, our careers, our external relationships are all secondary to this group of people we call family. They should and must be our center.

4 – Have a plan. You know there’s things that have to be done – some are screaming for attention today, and others can wait until tomorrow. Some ‘to-dos’ are a given each and every day but others crop up as we live our lives. Figure out what absolutely has to be done today and make your list, fill in your agenda … of course the best way to work this is to know last night what has to be done today. Some families work best with a large ‘family calendar’ that is gone over at the beginning of each week so everyone knows the expectation of the upcoming week. Figure out what works best for your loved ones and develop a routine.

5 – Work your plan. It isn’t just figuring out what works best, it also is the follow-through. A reputation as someone who keeps your word is essential to a stress-free lifestyle.

6 – Decide that ‘alternate plans’ are just fine. No matter how carefully we create our plans we have to remember life is full of the unanticipated – and when we make up our minds that ‘out of the blue’ occurrences in life are no big deal then living is much easier.

7 - Tackle biggest, baddest “to dos” early in the day. If you know you’re going to have to make that call, write that check, deliver that bad news – whatever – and you just do it NOW then the rest of the day can be enjoyed with a sense of fulfillment instead of lived in a sense of dread. The result? Less stress!

8 – Know your limits and set them up. (time, finances, energy, etc.) You know yourself and your family. Rein it in. Don’t make plans and promises that over extend your limits. It’s okay to say “No” to some events, things, and even people. It’s when stretch ourselves to the limit that stress becomes unbearable – you and everyone can suffer for it.

9 – Give yourself and others a ‘break’. Smile instead of growl. Sometimes we just growl and grumble our way through the day and in reality it doesn’t make us feel better – and it certainly doesn’t do those around us any good. Venting is not a good thing when it spills out like hot lava on others. Instead, be gracious, be generous with empathy – treat others like you’d love to be treated. Smile.

10 – Celebrate all the positives of the day and end it in Thanks. At the end of the day, when all is said and done … count your blessings! Give thanks for food, shelter, and clothing – for the essentials and then notice all the fluff and be thankful. The truth of the matter is, if we start looking for the positive and sharing that goodness with others, life in general is going to be a lot more stress-free.

So, there you have it – a 10 step formula for Taming Stress. Are YOU running the show or is Stress?

Did you know reducing our stress can oftentimes be boiled down to “trusting” our gut instinct in a situation?

Our lives are filled with ‘tests’ -

like trying out a new recipe for the family, or taking a car for a test-drive, or how about going to a store that’s been advertising a sale and you just stop by to see if the prices are really low enough to make a difference. Sometimes we test things to reduce our stress … like, we’re working and working on something and it’s just not ‘clicking’ and so, we go at it from another direction. There are times we check to see ‘which way the wind’s blowing’ before proceeding down a path we’re interested in. How many times have you ‘tested the water’ … figuratively and actually?

Testing can be a good thing and it also can be bad … for instance, there are times we involve others in our tests – like the aforementioned recipe – but also, just in life. We can test a new idea out on our spouse – ‘I wonder if he/she will like this?” And of course, as kids we tested our parents. “Hmmm … I wonder if I can get away with this?” Or “If I do this one time, maybe they won’t notice.” It could be we try something after we’ve been warned against it and we do end up in serious trouble.

I guess it’s just human nature – we want to be sure of something, or we just want to know for ourselves the truth of the matter. We all want to have confidence and this quest of self-assurance usually involves “testing”. Testing a thing out may mean we end up going another route in life and that can be a good thing. Sometimes this takes us into unknown waters … are we going to sink or swim or have to just float a while as we wait for the results?

Stress in these situations can be used to our advantage. When we know we are going against the code of right and wrong and we begin to feel stress we can adjust our behavior. Stop the negative action and your stress will reduce. Or it may just be that your confidence in a certain project is really lacking – listen to your stress and make a decision not to go there or buy that, or you could just be re-affirmed and confidence is regained – hooray! And then again, sometimes we’ve been asked to help with something and we know our plate is fuller than full – like, one more helping of anything and it will be running over and life will really be messy. Try as you might you wonder if you’ll ever get it all cleaned up.

Listen to your stressors and life will be more manageable. That is how we’re made … this wonderful emotional make-up of who we are as people. The problems arise when we ignore the initial feelings of stress and then do nothing about them. Stress will not go away unless you actively take part in making it so. You control each of your choices and stress, when used correctly will guide you in those choices.

So, word of caution – test the waters if you must, but, calculate the depth, your strength, and how the wind is blowing – it could make all difference in the final outcome. Think, think, think and trust your stress!

• We have work to do.
• There’s deadlines.
• There’s children to taxi from here to there.
• There’s a family to feed.
• There are bills to pay.
• There’s people demanding our attention.
• Come here, do this, take care of that  … and
• Don’t forget so and so needs this ASAP!!!

Just because stress is a part of life does not mean it has to consume you.

We actually can make up our minds how to handle these big and little circumstances that make up our days. We can decide to tackle each and every situation knowing we are in the ‘director’s chair’ OR we can give in to being directed by waves of turmoil.

Some people live their lives searching out the next best terrible situation, dilemma, or conflict to be upset with. They live in and are surrounded by melodrama. They dwell there. They swim in it, letting it soak into their very soul so that they are so shackled by these heavy weights that they end up drowning in stress. Life has no buoyancy to lift them up to the light of happiness and joy.    Aghhhhh, WHO wants to live like this????

You can choose the better way! In the book The Road to Stress-Free Living we talk about the techniques to implement in order to loose the bonds of stress. There’s some fun activities to engage in every day – purposely playing games, choosing to laugh, listening to good music. But also, there are tips in confronting your stress triggers head-on  and dealing with the situation rather than avoiding it.

Remember, life’s a journey. We’re traveling a road and along the way we need to accept a helping hand,  heed a word of warning, let some one else, who knows … whose ‘been there’…  help direct our steps. That’s all I want to do. Hopefully, I am able to smooth your path, or fill in a little hole so you don’t stumble as hard as I have. Who knows,  The Road to Stress-Free Living may be the light you need so you can see your way more clearly … to this better land of determination, directional living and peace.

There is a little work involved. Nothing good comes easy. It sometimes will take a little will-power to react in a new way  rather than the negative way of the past. But, honestly, once we train ourselves in these new thought patterns, and start concrete positive actions instead of reactions … then, we will begin to wonder how we could have ever lived any other way.

Get your copy of  The Road to Stress-Free Living today – doesn’t matter if your awake a 2 a.m. … you can DOWNLOAD  your copy, start reading and implementing the suggestions NOW!

You may have been suffering from stress for so long you don’t even know the pure absolute joy that awaits a person who effectively  learns to control their stress … let me tell you, living with peace is a wondrous way of life.

It’s up to you, your decision … You can do this!!  And, you know what,  best of all, there’s FUN to be had along the way … this new road, this better road.  You deserve it and your  family will love you for it!